Assemblyman Declan O’Scanlon joyfully crossed the aisle today to praise the miraculous efforts of Senate President Steve Sweeney and Assembly Speaker Prieto for coming up with a plan to solve New Jersey’s budget shortfall. “This is the best news I’ve heard in years!” said an ebullient O’Scanlon. “I really am having trouble containing myself! I need to sit down. Can someone bring me a water?!?”
O’Scanlon couldn’t contain his joy over the news that Sweeney and Prieto have a plan to solve all of New Jersey’s budget ills and make full payments into the state’s beleaguered pension systems.
“The only small problem, actually, I’m certain it isn’t a problem per se, let’s call it a formality, is that they didn’t actually release their plan. Yet, I mean….I’m sure it will be released later today. But it must exist because they filed support of the lawsuit that would force full pension payments. They would never be so irresponsible as to publicly support the lawsuit without a plan to make the payments – balance the budget and do it all without massive, economy-killing tax increases or untenable budget cuts. That would be insane.” said O’Scanlon a little less enthusiastically than his earlier comments.
“I heard digging and blasting down in the basement of the statehouse when I was there for Budget Committee meetings over the last couple of weeks and saw Steve emerge in filthy overalls with a pick in his hand. There probably was $3.5 billion buried down there. Or maybe they were drilling for oil and hit a gusher! Whatever, I’m just glad our problems are solved! Everyone can rest easy now!!”